A soft silence between an exhale that holds all of last year and the inhale of the year to come.
A lot can happen in a year.
We frame time and make much between one point and the next, we weigh up how this last portion of time has been for us and wonder what the next part will hold. I’m sat in the first bit of proper quiet I’ve had this festive season.
It’s a peaceful quiet; I can hear the wind outside, the clock ticking, there is candle light and christmas tree light mixed together making a kind of fairytale hue and its just me. I feel rested and comfortable and content. Its a good way to start the year, feeling like the cobwebs have been blown out and that I’ve had much needed rest and now I’m ready to step into the new year.
I’m enjoying the chance to think back on 2014: I’m a fan of the clean slate, fresh start and thinking-ahead mentality that comes with the start of a new year, the weighing up of what has been and the anticipation and hope of what might become.
2014 has been
good, monumentally good with one hefty sadness at the end of the year. It is a year, I seem to have hurled myself through, at times I’ve felt like I’d never stop, auto-pilot of going and getting things done. Many amazing things have been held within the last year including: getting promoted at work into a full-time role in a place that is my dream place to work, living with James in our beautiful flat after four years apart, making new friends and letting go of old ones, starting this blog properly through the ‘Blog with Pip’ course, entering some of my poems into competions for the first time, seeing things I never thought I’d see, getting used to and even fond of London, contentment with what I have and a growing knowledge and acceptance of my character.
So much good. But this good and happiness couldn’t be known without sadness. My one great sadness of 2014 came with the passing of my Pooka, 2015 is to be the first year without her since 1999 but she is still with me in a different way.
I looked in my moleskine from this time last year to see if I’d written any aims or thoughts for the upcoming 2014. There wasn’t anything specific but memories of a different kind of time, so much progress since then. Some things written from around then I quite like:
It has been a maganamious year, I feel life has been generous to me (I count my lucky stars for this year) and filled my days will mainly happy moments, its shown me what this world is really for. Yet, I feel 2014 was a preparatory year (is it human natrue to think that at the cusp of a new year, that the old one was just some kind of preparation for this one?). A kind of resolution I suppose is, I want to do so much more meaningful things in 2015; write about things I really care about, set up a project that will genuinely help other people, be still more.
A word has been sitting in my mind for some time now- galvanise. Its the type of word that shouldn’t really sit but I think you have to sit still and think carefully about what you want to galvanise, so its ok that for now, it has been quietly sitting in my mind. In 2014, my word was burgeoning and it was a period of growth getting me ready to take action in 2015.
I feel “burgeoned”, I needed to have a year of burgeoning but now its galvanise, galvanise myself and others to start making a difference. I want to do meaningful things with my time, I don’t want to get home from work everyday and slouch away my minutes on the couch watching tv (I of course will be doing this I just don’t want it to become the default evening). For 2015, I hope the word galvanise exlpodes out of its comfotable spot in my mind and fires me into action, to really start something good and worthwhile in the days to unfold.